It pays off to be patient and good!

When I was still on my teenage years, working, I used to weigh my happiness through the number of bags I have, branded clothes I have in my closet, cellphone unit and dinning in to fancy restaurants. Because I am single, it is so easy then to just buy what ever I want. So many likes, so many wants. When I moved to Dubai, I started splurging on to gadgets like laptop, dslr camera, shoes and live like a tourist. It was one of the best days of my life. So carefree!

Now that I am a mother, a stay-at-home mom to Kiehla, housewife, no means of income, I learned how to value every centavo I have in my pocket. What makes me happy is simply seeing my Kiehla smile. No more shopping for me. If I do, it is definitely for my angel. My happiness rise whenever I am at any toy store, at department store's baby section, at Jollibee, taking photos of my bubbly little girl. If I have a thousand in my pocket, I'd rather save it or buy Kiehla a new toy or a shirt or perhaps a new pair of cute little shoes.

I don't have any branded stuff right now except for my 1 year old lacoste bag given by my mom and my gadgets. I am so simple now. I feel like my world turned 360 degrees after the day I found out I was pregnant. But now of course I am happier, contented and fulfilled because of Kiehla even without nothing.

I celebrated my birthday last Sunday. I must say that he who really waits receive much blessings. My mother gave me a Brown LongChamp bag and my husband wrapped a Michael Kors tote bag. Spell happiness! I love you mama and Kiel, until my next birthday. I promise to take care and value these things.

Random Thoughts

My life turned 360 degrees when I got married and got pregnant. It was unplanned. My baby is a surprise blessing. I was working abroad then enjoying my life as a teenager, splurging on gadgets, buying branded clothes, bags etc. Then suddenly I got pregnant. My husband now and I were not really girlfriend and boyfriend that time we just have a mutual understanding. Then suddenly 'boom' I got pregnant. I had to stop working and I went back home. We got married. I had a very sensitive pregnancy. I had to stay home. It was really difficult. I don't have money on my own. I can't go out. I gave birth and again had to stay home to take care of my baby. We did not hire any nanny. When I look at myself in the mirror, I ask myself "what happened to you?". The transition is very hard. I had the hard time accepting the fact that I am already a parent. I suffered from postpartum depression for like more than six months.  But little by little I learned how to embrace and love my new career as a MOTHER. Hard at first but with the help of my husband, the love of my baby, my parents I am a new me. I am in the process now of getting back my old self. Home is where my heart is and I am home with my husband and my baby.

A Genius

My Innocent conversations with my little talkative kiehla at the age of 15months.

In the morning..
Mommy: Where is daddy
Kiehla: opis

At the Mall's toy section...
Kiehla: buy buy buy
Mommy: next time, i don't have money.

While resting in bed..
Kiehla: me me me.. Meee. (pointing to my phone)
Mommy: no, sleeping time na.

Bath time..
Mommy: Come, bath time is over.
Kiehla: babye tuys.

Mommy: what's your name?
Kiehla: mima (she can't properly pronounce her name yet)

Few words she can say aside from daddy and mommy, mama & papa, tito & tita, ate & kuya, ninong..
'ba' for going down, If she wants to walk or play on the ground or floor.
'papá' if she wants to eat.
'nyenye' for milk. She finds it difficult to pronounce the letter D properly.
'babu' for balloon.
She can already recognize animals such as dog, cat, bird and objects like ball, toys. Cartoon characters like pooh, mickey mouse, pocoyo and Jollibee.

She can also already say Hi, hello and babye clearly.

At 15 months, I am proud to say that I have a little genius. Kiehla can already express herself in the best way she can at an early age.

Aside from these words and expressing herself, kiehla at an early age knows how to shampoo her hair. Put up her feet/legs whenever I have to dress her up with pants/shorts or the like. She gives or raises her feet so I can easily put on her socks and shoes. And not to mention unlock my iphone and play with it. Find where angry bird game is. I can cut her finger nails and toe nails even if she is awake, this means that she knows how to cooperate! Hahaha. She calls me when she wants to poop or if she pooped already. Wipes her mouth. Say ouchy when she is hurt. Knows where her hair, face, eyes, nose are. Shows her teeth and tongue when asked. She is just so amazing. I am one proud momma.

I know there are also babies who can do all of these at an early age, too. Pardon me for being too proud. But what makes a mother happy is seeing her child learn little by little and starting to be a smart and witty little kiddo. All my sleepless nights, sacrifices for Kiehla are all paid off whenever I see her walk and talk like a pro. I can't wait to see who she turns out to be.

If I may say, Congratulations to me for raising such an early "genuis".

All by myself

Our family is not a fan of yayas or helpers. We are a family of six. I have two sisters and one brother. It was my mother who took care of us alone since my father works abroad. When I entered college like it was 7 years ago, It was the only time we hired a family driver.

When my two nephews came in our lives, it was also my mother who normaly takes care of them. Two years ago we hired a household help since mama turned sickly and she has to bring Adrian (eldest nephew) to school. I am already about six months pregnant at that time.

From the day I gave birth, I did not had any nanny or helper in our tiny condo unit. It was only me and my husband who takes care of our new born, Kiehla. I still have stitches then to nurse while I untiredly breastfeed Kiehla every two hours. Since mama is staying next building, she would visit us in the morning to help me give Kiehla her bath and allow me to do my own thing. (My husband went back to work after few days we brought Kiehla home since he is just new in the company where he works). Also mama would again visit me in the afternoon for few minutes to check on me and the baby. She sends her helper to me to bring breakfast and lunch. But most of the time it was only me and Kiehla in the house. That went on until kiehla turned two months. Mama got sick and so she could not come because kiehla might get sick, too. So from then, I thought of, I need to be really independent now, give Kiehla her bath without any help and do everything on my own. I learned how to manage my time for myself and for the baby. No panicking etc. I am proud to say that Kiehla reaches one year old without any nanny. I took care of her by myself. By the way, I am still breastfeeding my little girl. I learned how to have a bath for five minutes. No me-time. No breaks for me. Most of the time I am awake since I am nursing Kiehla. I could no longer remember the feeling of being asleep for eight straight hours. You don't own your time when you are a mom. No day offs for me and coffee breaks. I work twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. After all of these, my heart melts whenever Kiehla calls me "mommy" and gives me sweet little kisses. I feel fullfilled. Cheers to all mothers!

Grieving the holidays

This holiday season is also a time for our family to commemorate and remember our dear beloved Ima (grandmother), who passed away a year ago, December 25, 2010.

This time is very challenging and difficult for us especially this is the first time we are celebating the holidays without her. As we celebrate the birth of Jesus, we are also greiving the holiday without Ima.

Wherever you are, we remember you and you will always be in our hearts. We miss & love you! Merry Christmas, Ima!

Hours before the Noche Buena and Mass vigil, we still managed to do our last minute Christmas shopping and took sometime to pose infront of the camera to have a family picture. This served as Christmas post cards that were given to our relatives.

A very Merry Christmas from our family to yours. May you have a wonderdul season and may 2012 bring you peace and joy.

Head Trauma: A real trauma experience

Last Sunday we rushed Kiehla to the hospital due to head trauma. She fell on her height at our bed's headboard made of metal while happily playing with her daddy. Before the incident happened, we were at my mother's place (next to our building). On our way home, I told my husband I forgot something and had to go back to mama's condo unit. I left my husband and Kiehla half way as my husband said he can manage. I stayed for few minutes at mama's house, suddenly my phone rang. It was my husband, I thought he just wanted me to go home so I hanged up and headed home. As soon as I enter our house ,I saw my husband carrying my crying Kiehla. To my dismay, I saw Kiehla's Forehead really swollen, turned violet like a major bruise. I carried her right away while my husband was so afraid telling me what had happened. He was so afraid, teary eyed and very worried. We decided to bring her to the hospital. There was no unusual signs, she did not throw up, no blood, no cut etc. She is still the same Kiehla only with a swollen forehead. Just to make sure that she is fine we brought her to the hospital. By the way, that was about eleven in the evening.

In the hospital, Kiehla looks fine already, she was playing so we suspect she is really in a good condition. The resident doctor, however, still ordered to have an xray on Kiehla's skull to check if there is any damage on her soft and delicate skull. I swear it was the hardest. She was crying the whole time we were in the xray room. She was very afraid of the machines, lights and to the xray technicians. She was really screaming very hard and looking at me as if she wanted to tell me to help and get her. I could not take it. I took her and held her. I cried. I was crying while trying to make her stop crying and assure her that mommy is there with her. I wanted to tell my husband that it was all his fault and Kiehla will not suffer like that if he just took care of Kiehla the way I do. But of course I did not want my husband to feel guilty and no one wanted it to happen anyway. After so many attempts, we finished the screening. I breastfed Kiehla after her tiring test to calm her down and put her to sleep as it was past midnight already. The doctors, nurses and other attendants attended to us religiously since my husband works in the same hospital where we were in as training officer. After some time we were ordered to go home as the test turned negative. Thank God Kiehla is ok. No crack, tissues are intack, no blood clot etc. Relieved!

My husband and Kiehla normaly plays every night before bed time. I guess because that is the only time they can play and bond together since my husband is working and most of the time comes home very late. I always remind my husband though to minimize play time before sleeping. My usual line "no more playing" And I think I am right. Night time is meant for slowing down before going to bed, story telling, singing or calming down our baby. Yesterday we went to kiehla's pediatrician for her monthly check up. I showed him my daughter's skull screening and let the doctor know what had happened. Dr. Joseph Regalado of Cardinal Santos diagnosed it as hematuria if I am not mistaken. Nothing to worry he said. Sometimes it is good to experience such incident/accident like that so we would know as parents how much we have to take care of our children especially the fathers. The fathers must experience and know sometimes how difficult the duties of a mother and moreso learned what to do in times of unwanted incidents. But of course we pray that it will never happen again.

Head Trauma Precautions
Watch out for the following:
Persistent vomiting
Severe headache
Loss of consciousness
Focal weakness
Eye changes-blurring of vision, pupils unequal in size, double vision
Bleeding or watery discharge from ear or nose.
Seizure
Gait Abnormality
Decreased level of activity
Increased sleeping time

If any of the above signs occur, please bring your child immediately to the hospital for further evaluation.

See you soon, Singapore

Today, I brought my Kiehla to the department of foreign affairs to get or apply her a passport. We were scheduled at 1pm. As soon as we entered dfa's gate 1, i could not explain the feeling. I wanted to cry. So strange. Sounds crazy but true. I do not know why. It was probably because it was another milestone of my baby girl. As a first time mom, all firsts of kiehla make me feel amazed, excited and overwhelmed. My little girl is getting her own passport, her own identity and flying soon to explore more.

It was hard to bring a minor esp a 1 yr old to such place that you need to line up, follow rules and wait. Kiehla wanted to walk and check every corner of the room. Once or twice she cried to get the staff's pen but nonetheless she did a very good job. Looked at the camera, patiently waited until we finally finished our trip to dfa.

See you soon, Singapore!